Cancer Stories

Cancer…my second time around. This is my strory.

September 23rd, 2006

Hi! My name is Tracy S. from Eastern Ohio. I’m a 40 year old divorced mom of one son who will be 14 this month.

I have a cancer story to share. Actually, I have two, as I went through cancer 8 years ago at the age of 32 and am now going through it and the treatments once again at present.

I can only hope that my experiences can maybe, in some small way, but hopefully in a big way, help even one person find the courage, hope, faith and strength to cope and get through their own trying time or that of a loved one or friend.

One very important thing I want to say right at the beginning is..NEVER ever give up. Please, the biggest part of the fight is just that, the fight for the will to live.   Your inner strength will play one of the biggest parts of the therapy and healing. It all starts at home…within you. And each and everyone of us has that inner strength…you just may have to dig a little deeper to find it. No pity partioes will help you….be strong and FIGHT!
8 years ago, I was experiencing a lot of pain and abnormal bleeding. (I promise never to get graphic). I went to my gynecologist and had a regular pap smear…oh and yes, just my luck, there was a power outage right in the middle of my exam!! Anyway, as soon as he had a look-see, he knew right then and said that it was displasia, which is pre-cancerous cells. It must have been pretty bad if he could actually see it without waiting for test results. I was floored. Cancer. My mom had died of lung cancer when I was just 18 and now I was going to face cancer….without her? I was so afraid…for about the first 5 minutes and there it came, this inner strength. I found it somehow and knew right then that it was do or die. Period. I have lived with the most positive attitude out there ever since and it has got me through things I never thought possible.

The test results came back and it was full blown cervical cancer that was invasive, which means that it was spreading. I had 2 surgeries to try and get it all to no avail. I was sent to one of the top 14 hospitals in the country and still have the very same oncologist  now as I did then. We did the normal MRI, CT Scan and PAP’s and sat down with a plan. Did I want more children? Yes, but I wanted to save my life so I could be there for my husband and my only child. I saiod I was ready for the radical hysterectomy, which is something like a compltete (full) hysterectomy but they had left the ovaries to save me from going through premature menopause at such a young age. Needless to say, it didn’t work and at the age of 32 I was having the night sweats, hot flashes, mood swings and everything else that applies to menopause.   That was ok though, my surgery was over, I was healing and it was time for the radiation therapy to begin. 12 weeks of intense radiation to my abdominal area. It wasn’t bad though, there was no pain, no burning, no iotching or anything. I did however, start to feel a bit nauseaded for about the last 3 weeks off and on, but nothing too major. I also got fatigued more often and quite sleepy, but I got through it like a real trooper. (Remember that inner strength?)

It was over within about 4 months tops. I felt good and was healing ever so nicely…and so very happy to have that disease out of my body once and for all. I was very, very happy and relieved and felt I had been given a second chance at life.  When people say that colors are more vivid and scents smell stronger and the world seems sweeter? It’s true, at least in my case it was. Many things changed about me, some better, some worse. But, because of the changes, I am no longer married. That is a whole other story though.

One thing I would like to mention is this. When I said about the pain and bleeding? Those were all symptoms I never really should have been having. They said that I shouldn’t have really had any symptoms whatsoever! Tell me that wasn’t like a tap on the shoulder from someone watching over me!!

So, 8 years later rolls around. I am now having pain in my lower abdomin where the appendix would be. I fought with it for about 5 nights and got really scared, so I went to the ER. They said it was way too low to be the appendix and thought maybe ovaries or gallbladder. I had an internal ultrasound and they found absolutely nothing…NOTHING to be causing the pain. Not one thing! They sent me home. I followed up with my regular doctor who also found nothing. He told me that instead of passing the buck, so to speak, that he wanted me to go back to Magee Women’s Hospital where I had went before. I was more than happy to go back there since they were the wonderful people who had saved my life.

I got back to Magee, had a CT Scan which showed clean and my wonderful oncologist requested me to have what they call a PET Scan. This is nuclear medicine now that we are talking about and a very expensive test. He wrote a 19 page report on my existing and prior case and the test was ok to have, the insurance would cover all of it!!  I was scheduled and went it for it. One week later, on April 5, 2006, my 40th birthday, my oncologist calls me and tells me in such a nice kind way that, “Trac’, I want you to have a round (6 cycles) of chemo”. I asked, “I have cancer again?” and he said “Yes Chief, you have 2 infected lymph nodes to take care of”. Once again, my world crumbled for about an hour and there were tears and horrible images going through my mind. I was afraid and very much alone without my husband with me this time around. That inner strength? It came back. Again it would pull me through some of the deepest darkest places I have ever been. Everyone has it within them, you just have to be wise enough to see it and smart enough to use it. It’ll save your life. Trust me.

Again, the pain I was having? There was absolutely nothing to cause it. The lymph nodes were both on the right side, one by the kidney (very small tumor) and one by the lung, just a little larger of a tumor. So again, another tap on the shoulder from someone watching over me? Had to be. And if it wasn’t for the PET Scan being done, I most likely would have been a goner because before my chemotherapy got started, 2 cancerous lymph nodes turned to 5…quickly. And if I wouldn’t have had that scan, it would have went undetected for God only knows how long and would have eventually become invasive and aggressive and invaded the major organs. So I can only thank God and my Dr. for this test.

I finished up one round (6 treatments) of two different types of chemo, one being the older Cisplatin and the other being the newwer experimental chemo Paclitaxol. They have been outstanding for me! I am now back down to 2 very small (.6 mm) sized tumors and have just finished up chemo number 7 with one more to go. They feel that this 7th one took care of what it needed to do but the 8th would be for good measure. I pray this is so. I want to be danicing with NED (No Evidence of Disease) for Christmas and have my hair growing back!

Ah yes, the hair falling out. I ended up having a 16″ ponttail cut off and it now sits in a large freezer bag in my drawer as a reminder to me of yet another bout with a very serious killer disease. And yes, it started falling out right after my very first treatment. BUT, I am on some pretty heavy duty chemo, this will not always be the same senerio for everyone. As a matter of fact, I lost most of my body hair, but hey ladies, no more legs to be shaved for quite some time!

Now for the side effects of the chemo. With having 2 different types, it’s harsh to the body, mostly the stomach and the nausea can be brutal at times. The metalic taste in my mouth makes ever=n water taste burnt. Fresh fruits and vegiies are the key to getting through this. I stay away from fried, heavy and greasey foods because they irritate the belly and make it all worse. I take in a lot of fluids to help flush out the excess chemo (which needs to be done since some of the older chemo can be hard on the kidneys). I have been prescribed some really top of the line anti-nausea meds that work wonderfully. There are so many medications that can be prescribed to get you through the hard times and nausea, etc. Chemo is a very dramtic thing to go through…physically, mentally, emotionally…every way possible. But, there are people out there who are more than willing to help out and be supportive so that NOBODY will ever have to go at it alone…ever. I have made wonderful friends through a place called “Chemo Angels”. I have 2 women “Angels” who sent me gifts and cards once a week to keep my spirits up and they couldn’t be more wonderful. I have made a new best friend through one of them and we keep in touch. She has also went through cancer, so she knows exactly where I am coming from and headed.

Well, that, in a nut shell, is my story. I could go into more detail, but wanted to just get the important things in here for you to read. Eeven though I have been through some of the most life transforming things anyone could imagine, I still have so much faith, hope and strength and wish that all of you could find that within you or someone you are trying to help cope with cancer. Just being a friend and offering words and a shoulder…always willing to listen and offer that shoulder for them to cry on makes all of the differenc einthe world. Offer to cut grass and do yardwork and don’t take no as an answer. Any cancer treatment will be rough and will really sap the energy out of a person, so just go and do it for them. Nice cards and a phone call to say HI is more than wonderful. Just letting that person know you care is more than you could ever imagine.

All of my very, very best to you. May God be with you all during the hard times you may face.

Tracy…..

Entry Filed under: Survival Stories